That’s Unexpected! 

Games We Play

 

I don’t know if it’s because of autism, cognitive impairment, or both, but Ryan finds it difficult to play traditional games (like board games or card games).  Somehow, though, we’ve managed to create a few free-form verbal games we play together frequently.  One was inspired by a speech and socializing activity while he was still in school, and two others Ryan created himself.

The one inspired by his class at school is called “That’s Unexpected!”  Not only do we play it as a game, we use it when things have taken an unexpected turn and we’re trying to ward off a nasty reaction.  For example, we went to the optician’s office to pick up Ryan’s new glasses one Sunday morning, not realizing the office didn’t open until noon on Sundays.  A remark that “That’s unexpected!” and a laugh from one of us brightened up the whole situation when it could easily have ended in a meltdown.

I’m known for my somewhat sarcastic humor, which Ryan doesn’t always “get,” so when I’ve made a remark and he looks puzzled, we use “That’s unexpected!” to get through the moment.  Then I explain what I meant, hoping to expand his awareness, his sense of humor, and his use of language.  While his use of language is pretty good, it can always use improvement.

Probably the oldest game we play, “Drum, Drum, Drum,” is one that Ryan created himself with his former emotional support dog, Pooh Bear.  It always starts out by Ryan saying, “Drum, drum, drum, Pooh Bear’s not a drum!”  Then we agree that that’s true.  Next comes a variety of other sounds, always in a group of three, followed by “Pooh Bear’s not a . . . “  Like, “Cut, cut, cut – Pooh Bear’s not a piece of paper!” 

We’ve started inserting our own things that Pooh Bear is not – like “Pooh Bear’s not a tympani” – followed by “That’s unexpected,” thus joining the two games.  Ryan wasn’t sure about us changing up the usual replies, but he now looks forward to what we’ll say next.  It’s another way to increase his socialization and use of language, and we try to expand his vocabulary by explaining any unfamiliar terms (like tympani).

Another game Ryan created has to be played while driving around.  Ryan loves dogs with a passion, and he has an eagle eye for spotting them on sidewalks around town while I’m focusing on driving in Phoenix’s notoriously heavy traffic.  I don’t spot most of the dogs, but I can still play the game.  “There’s a black dog!” Ryan will say, pointing to the animal in question, followed by, “Pooh Bear’s not a black dog.”  I agree, and wait for the next dog to come along.  Pooh Bear had to be euthanized about 5 months ago, and Ryan is just now starting to say, “Snowball’s not a . . . “ but he still usually plays the game with Pooh Bear’s name.  I don’t think he’s quite ready to let go of his old friend.

Games like these make for fun moments and fun little rituals.  We don’t always play “Drum, Drum, Drum” after dinner, but we frequently do.  We always play “Pooh Bear’s not a . . . “ when we’re in the car.  It’s surprising how many dogs Ryan can spot, even when I’m driving on the freeway! 

 

What games do you play with your adult child?  Are they “made up” games, like ours, or are they more “typical” games?  I look forward to hearing about what you do – I’m always on the lookout for new ideas!